Flagged OkCupid

"Honestly, I think you're so amazing! Your dating profile is so hot I want to make love to it. I'd date you so hard, then marry the shit out of you. Who needs Apple maps to get lost in your eyes? Nobody! From now on this will be the day we celebrate where you gave up on finding someone else better than me. I want to grow so old with you that people can't tell our genders apart. I want us to stick together like the pages in my porn magazines do. I would climb the highest incline on a treadmill for you. I'd hold in my farts for you. I hope my excessive drinking, mental instability, and stalking habits don't keep you from having sexual relations with me. Everyday I'm going to use proper grammar on you until your clothes fall off. Even if we found out we are cousins I'd still bang you because there's no one else I'd rather have a pregnancy scare with. I want to love you like a sheep herder loves beastiality. Please let me be the retired space shuttle to your specially designed 747 carrier plane! Soul mates? I think yes, as long as I can break my bad habit of bailing on the first date."